This guest blog article has been written by Ashley Lewis from Pitch & Prep – A coach offering supportive one-to-one and small group/team football coaching for players across Bournemouth, Christchurch & Poole, helping players improve their game and confidence.
In this article, Ashley looks at the prejudice women players can face in football. He also shares what players and others in the game can do to help make women’s football a fairer and safer place.
Women’s football has changed a lot over the years. There are more players, more teams, and more coverage. Crowds are bigger and female soccer pathways are better.
And many young girls now grow up seeing female footballers as real role models.
But does that mean prejudice against women playing football has gone? Sadly, no.
That doesn’t mean every female footballer is constantly dealing with sexism, nor does prejudice in women’s football look the same in every country, league, club, school, or community.
Plenty of female soccer players will have really positive experiences throughout their football journey. Others still hear people ask if women should even play soccer. They hear jokes about the standard of the women’s game. People guess how good they are before they kick a ball. Some comments would never be said to a male player.
I am a male coach, so I can’t claim to know how those comments feel for a female player. But I can listen to the players I work with. I can speak up when I hear poor attitudes. And I can help build football spaces where people are judged on who they are, not on a label.
So, this article is not pretending women’s football has not made huge progress. It has. It is about the fact that old attitudes can still sit next to that progress. It is also about how those attitudes can affect female soccer players, and what you can do if they are aimed at you.
What Prejudice In Women’s Football Looks Like
When we hear the word prejudice in women’s football, we often picture something very obvious. Maybe someone says women can’t play football, or that it is a game for men. Sadly, that still happens.
But prejudice in women’s football isn’t always quite so blatant.
Sometimes it is a “harmless” joke that women’s football is slower. Sometimes it is a comment that female players are less skilful or less physical. Or someone is shocked when a woman is “actually good”. Others keep comparing the women’s game with the men’s game, as if one has to prove itself to the other.
It can also show up before a female soccer player has even played.
A girl joins a group, and people assume she is one of the weaker players. A female player has to show her skills before she is allowed in a kickabout. Or someone asks how much she really knows about football, but never asks the male player standing next to her.
Now, not every piece of criticism directed towards a female player is sexist. Of course not.
Every football player, whether male or female, should get coaching, criticism and honest feedback. The difference is simple.
Is the comment about something the football player did on the pitch? Or is the player’s gender being used to assume what they’re capable of before they’ve even had the opportunity to show it?
When Other People’s Opinions Become Your Own
For me, the biggest problem is not repeated negative comments. It is what happens when a player starts to believe these comments that keep coming again and again.
Say someone keeps hearing that women are not as good at football. Or that they shouldn’t play with certain players. Or that they will never be taken seriously.
Over time, that outside voice can turn into an inside voice. Then a normal mistake feels much bigger than it is (which – regardless of gender, any player would likely make at various moments) and starts to feel like a bigger issue than it should be.
I repeat, any player, of any gender, makes mistakes during a game.
For example, you misplace a pass. Instead of thinking “that was a poor pass,” you think “maybe I’m not good enough to be here.” Or you lose a 1v1. Rather than seeing it as one lost duel in ninety minutes, it feels like proof that someone else was right about you.
Well then that’s a completely different psychological burden to carry around the pitch.
I have written about how our inner voice changes the way we play in finding your confidence in football. Once self-doubt kicks in, players often start to get more careful. They stop trying hard things. They play not to make mistakes; instead, they play to enjoy or express themselves.
Also, these feelings can grow bigger than normal self-doubt. They can even spoil your fun of enjoying the game you love. If that sounds like you, my article on football anxiety and how to manage it goes into more detail.
You Don’t Have To Prove That You Belong
If you are a female player reading this, here is the biggest thing I want you to take away. You do not have to be brilliant at football to play football. Please reread that!
You don’t have to beat every male player in a 1v1.
You don’t have to score every chance.
You don’t have to be the best player on the pitch to show that women belong there.
And you are allowed to have an awful game.
You are only human, after all.
You can miss an open goal. You can get nutmegged. You can lose the ball and have one of those days where nothing works. Male players do all of this every weekend, and no one says one mistake proves men should not play football.
So as a female football player, if you make a similar mistake, do not carry that weight either.
This is even more true for younger soccer players. Imagine a girl who thinks she represents all girls every time she touches the ball.
Is that not an enormous amount of unnecessary pressure to place on somebody, and worse, a young soccer girl who’s just trying to learn and enjoy the game?
Ability changes from person to person. Gender does not make one player stand for everyone. You are a footballer. You have good days and bad days. You learn new things and repeat the same mistakes every footballer makes.
You belong because you want to play. Not because someone gave you permission.
“I currently coach a women’s team on the South Coast of England, UK. We have mixed abilities. Some play for fun. Some play to compete. Some play for the social side. Others want to improve and maybe move up to a higher team one day. I respect all of them the same. And I can’t say this enough: there is no wrong reason to want to play football”. Coach
Ashley LewisfromPitch & Prep
What Can You Do If You Experience Prejudice in Women’s Football?
There is no one right way to respond to prejudice. You also do not have to turn every sexist comment into an argument. You do not have to teach the person who said it.
Sometimes you will feel ready to challenge it. Other times it won’t be worth your energy. And sometimes the behaviour is serious enough that it needs to be reported, not debated.
If it happens in a football setting, please talk to someone you trust. That might be your coach, a club official, a parent, a teammate, a teacher or a league organiser. It depends on where you play.
Reporting rules change from place to place. But some things are not okay. If it keeps happening, if it is unfair to you because you are a girl, if it is threatening, or if it makes you feel unsafe, do not tell yourself you must put up with it.
Please don’t think “it’s only football” or “this is normal for women in sport.” The same goes online.
Female players can get comments on social media that people would never say face to face. There is nothing weak about blocking someone, reporting abuse, or stepping away. You do not have to spend hours trying to convince a stranger that you deserve to play.
If it turns into threats or serious abuse, keep proof where it is safe to do so. Then speak to the platform, the football group or the police.
Your first job is not to win the argument. It is to look after yourself.
Don’t Let Someone Else Decide What Football Means To You
I know this is easier to say than do. But one person’s prejudice should not decide whether you keep doing something you love.
A nasty comment can stay with you longer than ten kind ones. This is even more true if it lands on a worry you already had. So it helps to split the comment from the truth.
Someone saying “women aren’t good at football” is not coaching feedback. There is nothing you can work on. Now compare that with a coach saying, “Your first touch was too far from you there.”
One is a made-up opinion about a whole group of people. The other is useful football advice you can work with.
Once you learn the difference, not every negative opinion feels like something you must fix. You must learn which feedback helps, which thoughts help you improve, and which ones deserve very little space in your head.
Coaches, Parents And Teammates Have A Role Too
I don’t think dealing with prejudice should fall only on the person facing it. In fact, I’d say it shouldn’t.
If you are a coach and you hear sexist comments, challenge them. To be clear, challenge the person who said it, not the players who heard it.
If you are a teammate and someone is singled out for being female, back them up.
If you are a parent and you hear young players repeat labels about girls playing football, use that moment to talk about it. Don’t brush it off as banter.
Changing football culture should not mean the target has to stand up for herself every time while everyone else stays quiet.
My first experience of coaching a team was in women’s football, and I have stayed in it ever since. It shaped how I think about the spaces we build for players.
Of course, coaching is about skills, fitness, choices, and tactics. But players also need to feel welcome. I care a lot about this in my girls’ and women’s football coaching.
A player who feels judged before the session starts is already carrying something she should not have to carry.
Women’s Football Has Progressed, And Both Things Can Be True
I don’t want this topic to make women’s football sound like one long bad experience. It is not. In my experience, the good far outweighs the bad.
There are brilliant women’s soccer clubs, coaches, teammates, supporters, and communities all over the world. They build places where female players can just get on with playing.
Women’s football keeps growing, and that deserves to be celebrated.
But progress does not mean we have to pretend every old attitude is gone. Both things can be true at once. The game can be in a far better place than before and still have room to improve.
To be fair, that is true for every setting, not only girls’ and women’s football.
A female player can have great times and still hear the odd comment that shows some attitudes have not caught up. When that happens, the goal should not be to make the player tougher so it stops bothering her.
The long-term goal is football spaces where she never has to deal with it at all.
Football can do so much for confidence, friendship, belonging, and mental wellbeing when the setting is right. Everyone deserves those benefits without first proving they have a right to be on the pitch.
If you have faced prejudice in women’s football or girls’ football, as a player, coach, parent, or supporter, I would like to hear your story. What do you think still needs to change?
And to any female soccer player reading this: you don’t need anyone’s permission to call yourself a footballer. If you play football, you are a footballer.
I wish you all the best with your football, whatever your reason for playing and whatever league you play in. Stay positive, do your best, and remember that you always have a place in this sport.
